my mouth tastes like purple

firstly. 30 rock is amazing and people need to watch it. i died of laughter rewatching the first series.

but mostly...if ever there was a day where i was driven to drink and fall off the wagon this would certainly take the cake. so the day started off mildly okay although as it progressed i nearly had a panic attack since it's my first day on my own since mike (the guy i was replacing) left at xmas to go to his new job. so scary! on my own and having no one to fall back on even though i'd been doing the job pretty much on my own from the second week. and then i get a call from the estate agent and my rent didn't go through [except i already knew that but i was hoping it would take them longer to realise] and i thought it was not really such a big deal since i had the money to cover it. WRONG. i have no idea what the fuck happened since i really didn't spend that much money, i spent about £200 on general stuff and then another £200 on expenses (cc, mobile phone, etc) and i figured i had plenty left over. except i only had £730. and my rent is £986. so now i need to wait for my £580 to clear from paypal by monday and somehow still pay my rent and afford my visa. which totals £1381. so i need £651 and i actually have £680 coming to me since steve owes me £100 for bills. awesome, problem solved, right? WRONG. rent is due on the 20th so i need to make an additional £500 (or £493 or whatever my rent is. it's pretty fucking close to £500 so i feel comfortable declaring it at £500) to pay my rent on the 20th. and i also want to buy a new computer since my old one died and while i am happy spending £100 to send it off to sony and then wait 6 weeks to get it back...i have been forced to accept that this computer can no longer support my needs. so £400 will get me a lovely computer and probably a dekstop where i can replace the bits and bobs with better things when they appear on the computer market and repair things more easily since it's not miniaturized versions of computer bits to fit into a laptop.

but ugh. money. makes me insane! i've been lucky so far and sold a pair of shoes (lizard VPs - 1/2 size too big) and belen echandia clutch (that i got for free but my original BE bag took 6 weeks longer than it was supposed to so it was an apology from the designer) and now i need my other things to sell. i really want my viola to sell, although my mother paid $3000 for it and apparently it's only worth $1000. so despite that fact that she got ripped off years ago there's nothing i can do. but i REALLY need someone to buy it! it is for sale, WITH the case (!!) for £800. 3 people are watching and i would be set for life if someone bought it. think about it! i could afford my rent and have £300 for a new computer and then only need £100 more! it would be amazing. i am even selling a BE bag that i love and adore! im' also selling one that was a gift but i don't like it and won't use it and if someone doesn't buy it on ebay i'll just sell it to the designer 2nd hand shop across the street from my office.

i've just really had enough! i hate money. i am happy i am making all these plans to save money since it's obviously needed! i hate that i have to worry about money, i hate that i have to worry about my weight (althouhg i've done good today, 1 big cappuccino, 1 pot of yoghurt and 1 packet of porridge. and i'll drink fruit tea to keep me going and then have a normal dinner. losing weight would make me happy. although i'm wearing my red decolletes and they're making me happy

other things that make me happy:
someone just called wanting records on a property sale that took place in the 40s but the best part was that when he found out that i was american he wanted to know if i was mormon. since when i think american...i always think mormon!? it was SO FUNNY! i tried so hard not to laugh on the phone. man. i guess his brother is mormon and they don't see eye to eye philosophically (he told me this). how RANDOM.

man. so i have a plan for all the money junk i just need everything to work with me. and for someone to buy my viola. i don't care if none of my other auctions work out...just need the one!

man. that mormon thing made my day! i've missed my monday blogs. but i really have to get back to doing my work, the requests are piling up¬!


although now that i'm a manager i had to approve someone's holiday. how cool is that!