tryin' to catch the beat

ahhh monday.


so firstly, i have sorted out my finances...all by myself. no money from anyone, no advance on my paycheck. i sold my belongings and fixed my own problems. i am bursting with happiness and pride, this is the first time i've EVER solved a money problem on my own. EVER. i know...it's a little late/long coming but i am so happy. plus i am even MORE resolved to save money this year in order to prevent something like this from happening again.

something to expect sometime soon...i belong to www.forum.purseblog.com (tpf/the purse forum) and my lovely louboutin friends there know full well about my nail polish obsession and have requested pictures. so sometime this week i will take my bedside drawer out of the dresser thing and sort them all out for their debut onto the internet. it will probably be a bit mortifying....but they're all so different. you would think a person doesn't need 12 blue polishes and 12 red polishes but...one does! really!


so i spoke to my mother last night for i think the first time since november. we don't really speak on the phone often, we don't email that often either only if i initiate it. but she called to update me on her spinal stenosis surgery and i am happy to report that she is mobile. before the surgery she had lost almost all feeling in her right leg and it has returned 100% and she was incapable of walking [back pain coupled with the inability to feel your leg would have that effect] and now she is walking her dogs around the block twice a day. i'm relieved for her. i know a man in AA, michael. michael has spinal stenosis just like my mother. he has had the same surgery 3 different times. the first time nothing happened, the second time he developed a permanent limp and dependency on a wheelchair to get around and the third surgery only worsened the problem. it's a really risky procedure. they open your spine, remove the broken/damaged discs and fuse a metal rod with your spine. michael will never walk again without the assistance of a cane. i'm thankful that my mother's surgery was successful and that she will not be wheelchair bound. apparently the person who performed her surgery in los angeles is one of the pioneers in the field so i'm thankful. before the surgery i wasn't sure how i'd feel if she lived or died. i was sure i'd be upset but i couldn't imagine the emotion. and then leo called after her surgery and i was afraid she'd died and despite all the issues i think i would be genuinely sad if she died. but i suppose that's normal. she is my mother she did give birth to me. but i still feel like she's a stranger to me.

GG. gigi and i have been very close friends since i first moved to london in 2005. she was one of the first british people i met and the first person i told about my crush on steve. when i moved back to america in 2006 we mostly lost touch but when i started to work at prupim in 2007 we reconnected and grew extremely close since we worked literally down the street from each other. although now that i've left the pru and moved from the city to the west end we're growing apart again and that makes me sad since i really like her. we are just busy people. but working in the same industry [property] and years of friendship will always connect us...i just am sad that we can't be as close as we were before since there's no way we can see each other with our previous regularity since we are separated now. just another part of growing up i guess.


i have a headache and i'm thankful it's nearly time to go home. although i do love my job. steve is working late tonight so i get to use his computer until he gets home. we're not very good at 'sharing'. i wrote it with ' ' since it isn't sharing at all. i get to use steve's computer when he isn't home. haha...that isn't sharing. sometimes he is gracious enough to give me 30 minutes or an hour once a week...but really that's about it. i cannot wait until the end of the month when i buy my own laptop. and that's only next week! how exciting!!!